Death causes well-meaning friends to utter worn out or even hurtful, stabbing phrases, such as “I know how you feel” or “Time heals all wounds”.
Some may go so far in their discomfort, searching for just the right words to say, that they blurt out awful things like, “She’s in a better place” or “It must have been God‘s will” or “You can have more children and that will help ease your grief” or “Luckily, you had him as long as you did.”
Or perhaps they will try to change your focus elsewhere by asking, “Hey, where are you going on vacation?” or “I understand you’ve been ill. Are you better now?” or “What projects do have going in your free time?” or “Heard any good jokes lately? I have a few . . .”
Lord, forgive them for what they say in ignorance, for they don’t know what they are doing. (Luke 23:34) And strengthen me to accept the truth that we are each in a different place in our understanding of grief which will change as our experience increases throughout our lives. Help me to remember that only You can change hearts and don’t let me get in the way.
from the book, “Shattered by Suicide; My Conversations With God After the Tragic Death of My Son”