I never knew the verse below existed before I lost my firstborn to suicide. When I came across it, it spoke to my aching heart about a loving Father ~ the very same one who loved me even when I doubted Him after I lost my son.
Beware that you don’t look down upon a single one of these little children. For I tell you that in heaven their angels have constant access to my Father. Matthew 18:10 TLB
I no longer blame God, but welcome Him to my blog. Somehow this verse tugs at my grieving heart. Many readers have lost their precious children, and many of them have died by suicide. Suicide is part of my story and my heart. I am always looking for verses that touch me where it hurts down deep to somehow provide comfort for myself and others on our journeys of grief.
With your permission let’s imagine this verse in story form. To set the stage I remember that my mother used to paint a mental picture for me by telling me that I had a guardian angel who watched over me. I liked that idea. However, she also mentioned that there was a bad angel lurking about to encourage me to get into trouble. I didn’t like so much since I often got into mischief and paid the price for it.
In your imagination as a parent can you see your child’s angel hovering near the throne of God? I assume these angels are super busy and super fast to be able to not only look upon the face of God but also be near His children to protect them from harm.
Each one of God’s kids, of all ages, shapes, and sizes, has his or her own personal angel. Planet Earth and all of heaven must be swarming with them. I can sort of picture it. If my eyes could be opened to see angels I assume that I would see thousands upon thousands of them coming and going between earth and heaven, perhaps like Jacob pictured in his dream (Genesis 28:12). They not only behold God’s face they also bring messages of hope to hurting hearts like yours and mine.
This text above says to me that I am not to hurt the heart of any child of any age, because that child belongs to God. Also, I am not to hurt the heart of my husband who is also God’s child. I am not to cause harm to any of God’s kids. That’s inclusive. He loves each one as if that child were His one and only. That child has an angel who has the ear of God. Not only that, God’s eyes roam the earth to strengthen the hearts of His beloved children (2 Chron. 16:9). Those of us who believe in the God of heaven know that He is a very personal, hands-on God.
What this boils down to (for me as a mom who has buried a child) is that both of my babies have an angel watching over them. My living child has his guardian angel, and I like to think that my firstborn still has his angel watching the spot where he is buried. Does he stay there all the time? Does he come to be near me when I visit my son’s grave? I don’t know, but I like to imagine that “Gabe” shows up to wrap his arms around me while I shed tears over the loss of my child whose name is permanently etched in bronze. Those moments are always sad, but even in my mourning, I have hope! It is a blessed hope in the Grand Reunion when, once again, I will look upon the face of my sweet Greg!
One day soon Jesus will return to earth and wake up His sleeping children! Mine will be among the throng who awaken. I expect to see my firstborn alive and happy! I expect to look upon his face with joy! Gabe will quickly bring him to me. In my imagination, he will say something like, “Hey, Mama, I am so excited to reintroduce your firstborn son to you! Isn’t he beautiful? Oh, and by the way, I’m Gabe. Greg and I go way back. We have a lot of catching up to do and lots of stories to share. I am beyond excited to see your family together again!”
No, my firstborn no longer has a need for his angel, but when we are together again in heaven I imagine that all of those personal angels will introduce themselves to the earthlings they were in charge of. Then the joyous reunions will continue for all eternity. Until then, may these words bring a ray of hope.
He will command his angels concerning you to guard you carefully. Luke 4:10 NIV
Scripture shared from Living Bible (TLB); New International Version (NIV)