Thanks for stopping by. It’s been a few years now, but I can still feel the pain of loss. It is always going to be with me deeply embedded in my heart. As a believer, I turned to find scripture that would provide comfort; the Bible is full of scriptures for comfort, but with blurry eyes and a shattered heart, I could not see, hear or comprehend much those first months. I could not feel the comfort promised in the Beatitudes, however, the verse that did pierce my foggy brain was this one:
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18, NIV
This verse made perfect sense; I was completely brokenhearted over the loss of my firstborn son to suicide, so the first part of the verse make perfect sense. The last part was relief; my son was totally crushed and in personal pain, and God is saying to my heart, “I’ve got this. You don’t need to worry. I came to save not the self-righteous who consider themselves morally superior and don’t need saving, but rather, the humble, the broken, the crushed in spirit. those in need of saving. Your son was in need of saving and I did just that . our son and our son was crushed in spirit; my interpretation of his depression which I have no doubt led him to take his life.
Some might call this “spin” but when you are grieving, it is easy to grasp at any straw to provide comfort or understanding or blame or anything that seems to provide relief at the time. If you are a newcomer to this journey into grief, welcome. I am ahead of you, but I will drop back and walk with you a while. If you will let me carry one of your suitcases of grief, I will share your load for a bit of relief. It will balance my load as well. I read something like this in a book once. It was written by a mom whose son shot and killed himself out in the woods on their property one winter holiday. She was years ahead of me in her grief and at first this did not make any sense, but after years when I was able to think about helping others, this memory came back and I understood its meaning.
I welcome your thoughts about your personal journey. It’s not one we had planned, that’s for sure, but it is one that we have been given and God will see us through. ~Gracie