I weep for you today, my son. It doesn’t have to be a special day or even a special moment for me to weep – I just have to have a fleeting thought about you.
But today, we are nearing another anniversary of your death and so my thoughts of you are sad ones. I miss you. We all miss you.
Time may heal some wounds, but not these. These wounds we suffer are endless . . . timeless.
Losing a child is horrific; ask any parent. Our lives go on and we may have bits of joy now and then, but you are never far from my thoughts. I can’t help it; I’m a mom and that’s just the way I’m wired.
God gave me a heart to love compassionately, completely and my heart did not stop loving you after yours stopped beating. I suspect it will remain so until mine stops.
Perhaps through my blurry eyes, I can get a glimpse of my heavenly Father’s tears . . . the ones He shed when His Son died on Calvary. His Son sits at His right hand now in heaven. How wonderful for us that this is so!
Even though I cry often for you . . . and heaven cries along with me . . . because Jesus lives, you will too! We can’t wait to see you again. I suspect I will cry then too, but they will be tears of joy!
So rest on, son, rest on. Your Friend, Jesus, will call you soon, very soon. Your family will be there to greet you with arms full of hugs and faces full of kisses.
You won’t know how much time has passed so we will have to give you an update, if you even care. Then it will be home to eternity where we will likely lose all track of time.
~from Shattered by Suicide