You know I am the weakest of the weak with year after year of poor health taking its toll. And the day I heard the news that our oldest child had taken his life was the day I thought I would surely die. I felt like death. Tasted death. It saturated me within and clung to my pores. Nothing can prepare someone for sudden death, absolutely nothing. There is no script, no Cliffs Notes, no owner’s manual. You face the lion’s den of death alone . . . except for Him.
God, if Your precious Son had not faced it first . . . and rose again, we’d have no reason to go on living. What would be the use? Because He lives, so can we. And it is grander than anything this life will ever have to offer. It is life eternal ~ life forever! But until then, there is life to live; it goes on in spite of tragedy. So how do we accomplish this? We do it in Your strength, don’t we God?
The apostle Paul had problems many times over. I’ll let him tell us a portion of his story in his own words:
satan’s angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn’t think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then He told me, “My grace is enough; it’s all you need. My strength comes into its own in your weakness.”
Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become. 2 Corinthians 12:7-10, MSG
Like the apostle Paul, I too asked for the aching suffering of loss to be removed, taken far away from me; but instead He has blessed me with strength for the journey. But I don’t walk alone! He walks beside me with His muscular arm around my shoulder. What a loving God we serve!
Thank You, God.
~from Shattered by Suicide