I find myself unable to sleep far after the stroke of midnight. Ever found insomnia knocking on your door at night? I can remember not being able to sleep after my son passed away. I have heard other say that the dark hours of night are the hardest and loneliest hours for them to bear as well. Our minds don’t want to shut down. Not sure why sleep won’t come tonight, but if I relay this entry of scripture and prayer from the book, Shattered by Suicide, maybe it will make both of us sleepy and be drawn deep into dreamland. If nothing else, we will know we are in good company with the Psalmist.
I found myself in trouble and went looking for my Lord; my life was an open wound that wouldn’t heal. When friends said, ‘Everything will turn out alright.’ I didn’t believe a word they said. I remember God ~ and shake my head. I bow my head ~ then wring my hands. I’m awake all night ~ not a wink of sleep; I can’t even say what’s bothering me. I go over the days one by one. I ponder the years gone by.
I am tired and worn, Lord. The days are long and often feel pointless ~ and the nights drag on even longer, especially if sleep won’t come. My mind replays sad moments or lines up the next day’s activities, and it is hard to shut it off, so I ask You to take my thoughts captive and give me Your perfect peace and sweet sleep. Love You, Amen.
2 Corinthians 10:5; Isaiah 26:3; Proverbs 3:24, paraphrased