It’s my choice

I assure you, most solemnly I tell you, the person whose ears are open to My words [who listens to My message] and believes and trusts in and clings to and relies on Him Who sent Me has (possesses now) eternal life. John 5:24, Amp

It was a good thing that I was home alone so I could bawl my bout of tears with no one around to feel helpless. As many times as I have heard this question over the last few years since our son died, it never fails to make me ache inside.

I was listening to a sermon in a series where there is a QA session first. Twice in the seminar so far, this same question was asked, “Will someone who commits suicide be saved?” Evidently there are many who are concerned. Evidently there are many who have lost someone they love to suicide. There might even be someone asking because they are in turmoil whether to carry out a plan to take their own life.

I suspect that if you are reading this blog, you feel the pain of loss. Tough, isn’t it? I know. I understand. Whether it’s been weeks, months or many years, it still hurts doesn’t it? No matter how many times I hear this question still grieves me. Even a top Bible scholar cannot give a “yes or no” answer to this question. No human can. There are many who try to, and I have heard a few, but I believe they don’t know the truth. Only God does and He has not revealed it yet.

Though it “stabs” me every time I hear this question and even though I reach out to others in grief ministry, if I am honest I will admit that it still hurts. Then God reaches in, touches my heart and reminds me…

It’s a matter of trust. Do I trust God 100% or do I not? It’s an all-or-nothing proposition. No fence-sitting allowed. Sound harsh? Yes. We are fence-sitters by nature. We want to be front and center in our own lives. We are born with the power of choice as a gift. God never takes it away. If you read the last blog, Max says that God will step toward us, but He can’t take that final step. That is our choice alone. He took all the steps to Calvary. He did not stop along the way and say, “This is enough. I’ve had it. They are not worth all the suffering.” No, He took the final step for me . . . and for you. Aren’t we glad He did?

There will be words that hurt. There will be struggles. We live in an evil world under management by a raging maniac whose goal is human annihilation. But come what may, it’s a matter of trusting in, believing in and clinging to Jesus. Right friend?


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