I have heard this statement so many times from so many of us that I feel it is time to address it in my own way. Please join me with your own version if you like. Please forgive me if what you are about to read sounds harsh. I don’t mean to offend anyone. As always I welcome your comments, especially if what I have written is not truth to you.
To “get on with your life” said in some fashion ~ just what does that mean, exactly? Does one step over the problem as if it were a speed bump of annoyance or something like that? What if I said this to a recent widow ~ would I intend for her to cut short her mourning and send out signals that she is looking for a replacement? How ridiculous! What about a young couple anticipation the birth of their first child only to be told that the baby was born without a heartbeat. Would I dare presume to tell them to get back into the baby-making groove once again?
What about the recently divorced. Should this person be expected to get on with the business of finding a new mate, better than the last? What is our preoccupation with time? We did not create it? No. It is a gift and not always spent wisely, me thinks.
What about the parents who just buried their son, their one and only son who died of a drug overdose. Do I tell them to get over it, put it behind them and move on? Move on to what, exactly?
Moving on is getting up each morning and giving thanks for a new day in which to live and ease the life of someone else, if possible. At least be grateful that we have fresh air to breathe. The sun rises and sets no matter how my day has gone. There is faithfulness and steadfastness and order in my life even if my heart is in shambles.
God’s Spirit has made me. The breath of the Almighty gives me life. Job 33:4
If I had a zapper, I would magically transport the offender of “juicy pearls” into the next county to get them out of the griever’s face. No one has any business telling anyone to get on with their lives. If anyone has the right, it would be the God who created us all, but even He is too much of a Gentleman to say such things.
Ideally, we let words like this go in one ear and shoot out the other side so fast that they don’t have time to settle in and take root in our thoughts, because they don’t belong there. Phrases like “get on with your life” may be said in innocence or stupidity, but never by someone who has been there; who has lived through tragedy.
The folks that spout them are repeating what is whispered in their ear by the enemy of our souls. After the death of our beloved one, he sticks around to gloat and to see what more he can inflict on the grieving heart.
It’s time to kick the devil to the curb.