Shared from “Grieving the Loss of Someone You Love”
No man has power over the wind to contain it; so no one has power over the day of his death. Ecclesiastes 8:8
Death has a way of causing us to face our absolute powerlessness. Humans would prefer to pretend that we are powerful. After all, we can send rockets to the moon. We can irrigate the desert. But the truth is, we have no more power over death than we do the wind. We are helpless in the face of death, and many of us rail against that helplessness. We want to do something. We want to make the pain stop. We want to make God answer the question “Why?” Did I do something wrong? Am I being punished? Has God stopped loving me? Did God ever love me? If He loves me, then why?! Why me? Why now?
All of these questions tend to march relentlessly through our minds when we are grieving. When we lose a loved one many of us go through a crisis of faith in which we question everything we have believed until now. Unhappily, a lot of people who are questioning feel as if their questions indicate that they are bad people. This is simply not so. C.S. Lewis is widely hailed as one of the most profound theologians of this century. He was a man who knew what he believed and why he believed it. Yet his wife’s death cast him into crisis. Lewis’ search for answers to the questions spawned by his great loss is profiled in his book A Grief Observed.
Regardless of how others may have handled their personal crisis, however, we are each called upon to come to peace with our own feelings of helplessness. No one can do that for us. And in the final analysis, no one can show us how to do it. It is a battle for peace that can only be fought on our knees. We may rail at God. We may tell him how unfair we think he is. We may tell him how terribly angry we are with him. In the end, though, we must find some way to face, as did Solomon, the fact that only God can tame the wind and only God has a wisdom so perfect that he can rightly determine when a person should go on living and when that person must die. It is only when we surrender our anger, our grief and our heartfelt “Why?” that we can know that peace.
Friend, you may or may not believe what was stated above by authors, Mitsch and Brookside, and you don’t have to. Perhaps you have searched for answers and meaning from various authors. Maybe you go out and shake your fist at the night sky. No matter what we do or say or ask, God has not left us alone. He’s there all the time as he promises to be. He does have the answers we seek, so keep searching.