“For Such a Time as This”

Queen Esther before the King

Queen Esther before the King (Photo credit: Lawrence OP)

“Do not flatter yourself that you shall escape . . . if you keep silent at this time, relief and deliverance shall arise . . . from elsewhere, but you and your father’s house will perish. And who knows but that you have come for such a time as this?  Esther 4: 13-14   

Dear Heavenly Father,

I felt a tug on my heart as I read Esther’s story. You were working undercover in the kingdom to bring about each circumstance, and Esther being chosen as queen, was huge.

She agreed to put her life on the line to save her people. To come uninvited before the king could easily have been her death sentence, but she stepped forth in faith.

I do not face an earthly king, but I face You, King of Heaven. You are calling me to step out of my private silence to write; something I have never studied or practiced or even thought about until now.

I remember asking You to give me something to say, like a personal testimony that would have a greater purpose. I got what I asked for, but it is bitter to my tongue and almost fatal to my heart.

My testimony, my story, is about the loss of my son to suicide. What an ugly, horrible tragedy and yet from it as come an awesome responsibility to share it.

The silence of suicide must be broken. It is time to step forward and share what You have given me to write so that other families who suffer from loss can see You and how much You love them; how tenderly You hold them while they grieve.

You have so much love in Your heart for every person on earth – all are Your precious children, and You want them to know the truth.

You give me the words God, and I will be Your scribe. This assignment is too big for me alone and I will need You every step of the way. Thank You for trusting me – this mound of clay.

Love You forever,

Your daughter and mother of your sons

from Shattered by Suicide: My Conversations with God After the Tragic Death of My Son


4 thoughts on ““For Such a Time as This”

  1. I forgot to add that I read a review of your book, SHATTERED BY SUICIDE and plan to order it and read it. One of the other books I wrote – is MESSAGES FROM GOD – my talks with God – some about death – a scripture that most inspires me is Jesus talking to Moses and Elijah on the Mt. of Transfiguration – both of whom were “dead” and another New Testament passage where Jesus says the works I do you can do and greater works than these….which is why Helping Parents Heal is so helpful to many of the families whose children died – by suicide and so many other ways. Jesus talks to those who had died and many of these families share their stories of experiences they have had hearing their children who died, seeing them, talking with them and so many things, without fear of judgement, but with total acceptance. Elizabeth Boisson has honored her son’s memory by creating Helping Parents Heal – where hundreds, now over a thousand, parents are given loving support in their grief. Lovingly, Anne

    • Losing a loved one makes grievers search more deeply for answers about death. We don’t all come up with the same conclusions i.e. from my study, Moses died and then was resurrected. Elijah was taken to heaven without seeing death. Both are alive today in heaven, just as is Jesus. Enoch is also there. The Bible has much to say about death and when the texts are studied together they are in total agreement. Jesus promised He would return and resurrect His children who have been laid to rest. That’s what death is. It is a deep sleep where we are aware of nothing. As we continue to study God’s Word, He will reveal truth to our searching hearts.


  2. Very thoughtful and tender thoughts. I hope you don’t mind me sharing this – My son Stephen took his life when he was 15 – I wrote STEPHEN LIVES! My Son Stephen, His Life, Suicide and Afterlife. It was published by Simon & Schuster and is going to be made into a movie. I’m working on the sequel now. Two books that have helped my understanding the most since I wrote my book are YOUR SOUL’S PLAN and YOUR SOUL’S GIFT by Rob Schwartz. Also, Bill Guggenheim’s book – HELLO FROM HEAVEN. I was studying for the ministry and just getting aware of life after death and all the beautiful metaphysical teachings when Stephen died. If your soul calls you to write then God and your son will aid you in creating a book that will help many. I wish you the very best. Lovingly, Anne

    • I am sorry you lost your son, Anne. It is hard to live on without them, but I am a believer in God and I know that the outcome through eternity matters most. God works in mysterious ways His wonders to perform. I believe in His Word. I believe that writing my book was therapeutic and helped me release some of the deep pain. Those who read our accounts realize that they are not alone. Thank you for sharing.


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