Time passes. It always amazes me how it does, but should it? When summer days ease into cool nights and the bright, showy colors of fall appear everywhere I am once again reminded that another year has passed. Today was the perfect day to buy an end-of-summer-sale mum. The pickings were slim at the roadside stand, but I found a pretty one that reminds me of daisies. It is large and full with sunny yellow centers surrounded by white petals. Today it is pretty day and it will look nice where I put it, but no one will notice. He won’t see it either and It won’t last long. Like everything else in life, it will soon die as frost nibbles at its petals.
Today I will set this mum on my son’s grave. I did the same thing 8 years ago when I set out a yellow mum. The weather was the same clear blue sky. Today, I plopped down on the lush green grass and stared at the immense blue above me. How could time pass? At first after he died, it seemed like time stood still as well it should! Everything should come to a screeching halt, shouldn’t it? There should be no rushing, noisy traffic, no hustle and bustle of business. Life should stop for everyone in respect for my loss, but it doesn’t work that way. Time passes, even if slowly, but it does pass. Life goes on as if we have been dropped on life’s conveyor belt whether we choose to be or not.
I couldn’t lay on the grass too long or I wouldn’t be able to get up (okay, no comments). Groaning as I did so, I remembered that 8 years before I took a walk after I placed the yellow mum on my son’s grave. It was a beautiful fall day just like today. I couldn’t help but talk in my heart to my son, telling him about all the beauty he was missing. But his heart was too broken for joy. In spite of my pain, he is where he needs to be. It was his decision and his actions force me to live with the result. He is unaware of the passage of time, the rush of living or the pain he has forced on his family. He is at peace. I’d rather he be just sleeping in his bed and I could call him awake or call him mid evening to see how his day has gone, but I can’t. Where he is, I can’t call. All contact has been cut off. The wires are severed. There is no communication from my loved ones who have been laid to rest. Not yet anyway. But soon that will change. God says in His promises that Jesus will return! He will come in the clouds and turn our mourning into dancing! We will shed tears of joy at the glad reunion in the beautiful, immense sky above. Instead of the jarring noise of traffic, heaven’s choir will burst into song and, we will forever be with our loved ones, where not even mums will die.
You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. Psalm 30:11
Behold, He is coming with clouds, and every eye will see Him . . . and He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.” Revelation 1:7; 21:4